confessions and blessings

I’ve been a terrible flake about writing on here lately. Honestly, it’s because I’m just overwhelmed.

My life is a constant flurry of activity these days. Our closing on our house in NRH is in 22 days. Today we are making an offer on a possible new house in Arlington . Our home office is pretty much packed up (yay), but then I remember that I haven’t even really touched the kitchen… and there is a TON to pack in there. I’m just exhausted… and we have a family retreat this weekend, a fifth quarter next weekend, a family festival, a junior high retreat, and a high school retreat… all before Thanksgiving. Yeesh. My back is full of knots, and I keep getting stress headaches. Well, stress/sinus. I always struggle with allergies when the seasons change. To summarize – I’m busy, sleepy, and don’t feel too hot.

Every time I sit down to write something, it ends up being more of a to-do list… and it sounds so negative… so then I give up and quit. Instead, I am going to try to focus on the good things happening in my life:

1. We found a house we like enough to make an offer on… and it’s even cheaper than most of the houses we’d looked at, so we’ll be able to put quite a bit down (at least 20%, maybe 25%) and have a nice low mortgage.
2. Our house sold in this terrible market (totally all God).
3. We are going to NYC the first week of December regardless of what else happens… so I KNOW I will have a little break and be able to get away for awhile. And I’ve always dreamed of going to New York at Christmastime, so I am just SO excited.
4. Even though I sometimes get sad and miss my Legacy friends, we are finally getting to a point that we’ll be able to start attending some PR grow groups and hopefully make some friends there.
5. I’m still in a non-Bunko/supper club group with some of my Legacy friends, so I get to see them and catch up at least once a month. I never realized what a blessing that could be for me.
6. I decided that I really want Ugg boots to wear in NYC while we’re there since it will be so cold, so I went and tried some on this weekend and liked them enough that I’m ordering a Discover cash back bonus card to go buy them… hopefully in the next week or so. They were delightfully comfy and warm… which is good because that is MUCH more than I normally spend on shoes. (And someone come hunt me down and kick me in my face if I ever wear the Uggs with Soffe cheerleading shorts. I still don’t get that look. If it’s cold enough for your feet to need Uggs, don’t your legs need pants???)
7. I’ve been reading through my Bible, and I got really bogged down in Isaiah and Ezekiel, but I’m now to the other side of those (just finished Daniel, actually), so hopefully I will pick up the pace and perhaps be able to finish reading through the Bible this year.
8. Christmas is getting close! Yesterday I numbered off the days until Christmas so that I could do a countdown. Today makes 81 days until Christmas! I am so excited about that. I love Christmas. I mean, really. It’s ridiculous. I love Christmas. Did I mention I love Christmas? Well, I do.
9. We are (sort of) beginning to get into a groove at PR. I am starting to know names and be able to talk to people… and find my way around the building without getting lost (hallelujah!).
10. I have a really wonderful husband. He takes such good care of me and is so patient with me when I go through phases like the one I’m in now (borderline panic attack at least once a day). We’re SO different, so I know he doesn’t necessarily understand how I’m feeling, but he loves me and cares for me through it. It’s also been a big blessing to see him really thrive in his new job. Sometimes he gets overwhelmed, yes, but he just has all these new ideas and gets so excited when kids really get it. He has a precious heart.

Finally, I am so thankful for the Lord’s faithfulness. Throughout this changing churches/selling a house/buying a house/moving process, one of the stories that the Lord brought back to me over and over was that of Abraham. God called him out of where he was without showing him exactly where he was going. God was incredibly faithful to Abraham, and the only times things didn’t go well for Abraham were the times that he tried to manipulate his own situation instead of following where he was led. God just kept reminding me that I need to trust and not try to shape my own situation into what I think it should be. Amazingly, of all things, that is precisely what this past week’s sermon was about – about God calling Abraham to an unknown place and the faith it takes to move there. What a confirmation! Oh, He’s so good to me.

So… I’m still a little overwhelmed by the number of boxes that need to be packed and the arrangements that need to be made… and my allergies are still less than fabulous… but I know I am protected and loved and cherished by the King of kings… and that He will provide for my every need. After all, I’m worth more than sparrows and lilies.

immeasurably more

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Our lives have been an adventure of blessings lately. Over the course of the past few weeks, we have gone from fearful, worried, hand-wringing, terrified about selling our house… to a house that is under contract and an option period that ends tomorrow. And the blessings don’t stop there.

So basically – here’s the story. Saturday, August 28^th someone came to view our house (obviously always a good thing). The only comment they left was that buyer preferred a different color scheme… which made me cranky since I figure most people just assume they will repaint whatever house they buy. Anyway, no harm, no foul. We went to bed Saturday night and got up and went to church Sunday morning (as is our custom). During church, Lance got up to sit with a boy from the youth group who was getting baptized, and an elder stood up to make a veeerrrry long announcement (no joke – like 7 or 8 minutes) about budget stuff. Needless to say, I got bored, so I checked my phone to see what time it was. Well, now that I have this fancy iPhone, I also happened to see that I had gotten 3 emails while I was at church… and lo and behold – we got an offer on our house! So I (obvi) immediately begin crying and want to tell Lance but he’s sitting on the front row. When church ended, I ran over and told him, and we were so excited. We went out to lunch with Lance’s mom, and I was reading through the offer (a 22-page PDF… on my iPhone screen) and realized it was a contingency and said, “Oh, we need to not get our hopes up too high then,” and I asked Lance to print the entire PDF out for me when we got back to the church since reading the tiny print was making me batty.

When he printed it out, we realized that God had orchestrated this entire situation – we know the buyer’s agent, the buyer, and the people involved in the buyer’s contingency. They all go to Legacy, and we know, trust, and love them all very much. This has been an incredibly peaceful, easy process. AND thanks to the aforementioned contingency, our closing isn’t set until the last week of October, so we still have 6 or 7 weeks to try to find a house in Arlington!

Oh my goodness, the Lord is taking care of us! Honestly, if I had tried to come up with my perfect situation, it would not have been anywhere near this great. God is absolutely watching over us and guiding our every step. And how this is increasing my faith! When He calls, He leads. He provides. He blesses. And then He smiles when I am somehow amazed (yet again) at His faithfulness.

Okay, I know this is already long… but I also have to share that the Lord had just really been putting particular verses and Bible stories on my heart throughout this process. One of the main ones has been, “Not to us, O Lord, not to us – but to your name be the glory because of your love and faithfulness.” (Psalm 115:1) And God gave us this situation in the midst of chaos – in the midst of a 27% housing market decrease in July – and took care of every detail… and I didn’t do a darn thing. Couldn’t if I wanted to. I had NO control. And all I can do is marvel, stand amazed, and give the glory to Him… the One to whom honor is due.

To end, the verse that has been soothing my soul for the last week as we work out all the details of our housing contracts – “Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.” (Psalm 116:7)

Praise the Lord. Amen.

attitude check

The other day I was commenting (or perhaps complaining, if I’m honest…) about how long it’s taking to sell our house and how it’s so hard to still be in limbo and still trying so hard to keep the house so clean all the time. My sweet husband listened and nodded… and then goes, “Well, I think our situation is pretty great. We HAVE a house to sell, which not everyone can say… and we are looking to buy a house near my new job where I am being paid MORE… and we have the money to buy ANOTHER house when it all works out… so I feel like things are pretty good overall.”

Wow.

Humbled much?

And it’s not like I can be mad at Lance’s sweet face even though he totally (gently) put me in my place.

Anyway, I’m working on my attitude. I strive to be a non-negative Nancy , and sometimes I fail I guess. I know how much I prefer to be around joyful people, and I long to be a joyful person myself, and I think I’d gotten in a complainy funk. (Disclaimer: everyone goes through ups and downs. My desire to be a joyful person and to be around joyful people is in no way a desire for others or myself to be fake-plastic-Stepford Wife happy all the time even though life can be a roller coaster. I’m speaking in broad generalizations.) I’m trying to change my prayers… thanking God that he’s given us SO many blessings that we are having to figure out what to do with them all… and thanking God for the day that he will resolve our situation and amaze us with his goodness, as he always does. He’s proven himself entirely faithful, entirely gracious, entirely awesome. He loves me unendingly, immeasurably, incredibly much. He has given me every good and perfect gift. And he adopted me and engraved my name on the palms of his hands. He’s not going to forget or abandon me now (or ever). He’s too wonderful for that. So until he shows me exactly what he’s got planned for me, I’m going to rejoice that he’s leading me—that he’s gone ahead of me and prepared a path and a place for me.

****

“I sought the Lord and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them. Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. …those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.”

-Psalm 34:4,5,7,8,10b

bulleted list

Some things to know about me lately:

I......

• totally found a new favorite Sonic drink this weekend: Diet Dr. Pepper with raspberry. Oh. My. Word. SO good! It even beats Diet Dr. Pepper with cherry or Diet Coke with lime for me. It’s THAT good. Seriously.
• have such a love/hate relationship with my Garmin. LOVES: never completely lost, can change route or destination on the fly, can even search specific places. HATES: I feel a compulsion to beat the expected arrival time displayed on the Garmin, which turns every trip into a race against the clock. Coming back from camp, I needed to avoid part of I-35 where there was some major construction, so I had to go the long way and STILL managed to shave nearly 15 minutes off my time! If I get pulled over for it, I’m thinking a cop won’t buy my “but, sir – I have to beat the Garmin” excuse. Oh, and also in the “hate” category: the Garmin has started giving me directions at strange times. I was in the middle of nowhere… just me and some cows and those big white birds that hang out with cows… and there not even any other roads. Suddenly the Garmin says, “Turn right.” I yelled “Are you kidding me?!” out loud to the Garmin. Strange (both the Garmin and me probably).
• spent like 4 or 5 hours organizing nametags at camp this weekend. It was tedious, meticulous, detail work… right up my alley. Ha. Well, until the slipcover things that the nametags went in started scratching my hands.
• shopped for a baby shower gift to be from my entire section at work… so I had like $250 to shop with. That is definitely the most I’ve ever gotten to spend on baby stuff, and I LOVED it. Maybe someday I’ll get to buy that stuff for me…
• invested a ridiculous amount of time in trying to get some more CDs into my iTunes… and naming everything appropriately. I need to load it all onto my iPhone, and I would really like for it be right before I go to the trouble to do that. My perfectionism rears its ugly head yet again.
• am only blowdrying my hair like twice a week now. The rest of the time it ends up in a ponytail or a braid or some other hairstyle that doesn’t have to be dry when I get to work.
• think that about covers it.
  

mini update

It took me 2 months to tell about my 8-day trip. Be impressed.

Hmmm... well.... in exciting news, we paid off our truck a couple weeks ago! We went out to Texas de Brazil to celebrate the fact that the only debt we have now is our mortgage! We are so excited about that... and we feel so pleased and so proud that we were able to do that already.

Also, last week, I got an iPhone 4! It's a lovely little piece of gadgetry.... by far the fanciest phone I've ever owned. I'm still learning how to lose it, and I live in constant fear that I will drop it, but otherwise, it's fabulous! AND it has a pink bumper on it. Amazing - I know!

Lance is gone for his final week of camp this week. I could not be happier to get this week over with so that he can be home with me where he belongs. It's hard for him to be so busy and gone so much. I'm soooooooo ready for us to be able to spend time together and really invest in our marriage.

We have our house on the market, and we've had some lookers, but no offerers yet. We're praying and trusting... and would appreciate any additional prayers you would like to offer on our behalf.

We've had lots of questions about how things are going at PR and how we're doing... and things are going well. I'm ready to move closer (no more 30-minute drive, please!), but Lance is loving his job and is doing a great job. He has felt so called to ministry for so long, and I love seeing him rockin' and rollin' and doing such a great job. It's also great to see him so happy and so excited about his job.

I am very ready to be out of transition. I don't deal well with change, and I feel like I've been in a constant state of change for 4 months. I am ready for stability. I'm like a small child - I thrive on routine. And naps. And snacks. Anyway, I'm ready for things to settle.

day 8

On our last full day in Rome, we went to the Vatican Museum and St. Peter's Basilica/Square. The Vatican was incredible, and I had booked a tour with a company... which was incredibly fantastic. We saw all kinds of sculptures and paintings and tapestries... but the highlight for me was the Sistine Chapel. We had been warned that the company that restored the Sistine Chapel walls and ceiling actually owns the rights to the images, so you're not supposed to take pictures. It was strange - there were guards yelling "Quiet please! No pictures!" in the chapel, but people were taking pictures all over the place. If you know me well, you know that I am a rule follower through and through, but I asked Lance to go ahead and sneak some pictures since everyone else was doing it. Ha. Okay, but really - I was completely overwhelmed by the Sistine Chapel. I just sat with my mouth open staring at the walls and ceiling. It was SO beautiful. It was kind of almost a spiritual moment for me.

I'm sure that this picture is not big enough for you to tell, but one of the things I learned about Michelangelo is that he never used female nude models - only male nude models. Because of that, he really didn't know how to paint female nudes... so his females are big, muscled, buff men... with breasts. It's kind of funny.

St. Peter's was incredible as well. I don't know that I can even really explain how massive it was...

I really wish I had more words to describe the experience of being there... but I really don't. Ha. Oh, it was beautiful. What an amazing way to wrap up our trip.

day 7

Day 7 was definitely our most random day in Rome. We started out going to St. Peter in Chains Basilica, which holds the chains that allegedly held Peter when he was in prison. It also has Michelangelo’s statue of Moses. It’s a rather unassuming basilica (I would have walked right by it if I hadn’t been looking for it), but it’s a pretty cool place. It’s also one of the oldest basilicas in Rome.
We also went to the Spanish steps (not as cool as I’d hoped) and Trevi Fountain (WAY more crowded than I’d hoped), as well as Piazza Navona and the Pantheon. The Spanish steps were quite grand, but there was some construction being done on them, so it was hard to get good pictures. That made me a little sad… but it was still a really neat place. After taking some pictures on the stairs (and getting some cash at a nearby ATM), we headed up Via Condotti to leave. Via Condotti is home to some of the highest-end shopping in the world. It definitely put the Champs Elysses to shame. We passed Burberry, Bulgari, Jimmy Choo, Cartier, Fendi, Gucci, Prada, Dolce & Gabbana, Hermes, Armani, Louis Vuitton… probably more. It was a long street… and I felt poor on it! Anyway, then we attempted to go to the Mausoleum of Augustus. TOTALLY underwhelming. It was inaccessible to the public, had orange construction netting surrounding it, and had trash scattered around it. I was actually angry that I’d walked that far to see that. Ha. Anyway, then went to the Pantheon, which was a pretty amazing place. The technology/architecture was so advanced. It was such a neat thing to see. We actually ate lunch in the piazza there in front of the Pantheon… and then we got gelato. Fabulous! After that, we went to Piazza Navona to see the Fountain of Neptune and then to Trevi Fountain, which was SO packed with people. We had to elbow our way down to the front, and even then, we had to stand off to the side to take our pictures. After that, we headed back to the hotel to rest (we were completely exhausted)… and then we ventured out that tonight to get the tiramisu I’d read so much about. It took us so long to get there that we ended up eating just tiramisu for dinner that night!