catching up still - state fair

Lance had never been to the State Fair ever in his life! Isn't that crazy?! I just HAD to take him, and I took a Tuesday off work so we could go on Dr. Pepper Tuesday ($3 instead of $15 to get in!). Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand it rained that Tuesday. A lot. Ha. We had fun anyway though. We stayed at the fair for a couple of hours and then decided to make the most of a free day and went and saw a movie and just had fun all day. Here are some State Fair pics...

Us in front of Big Tex. Lance was a bit underwhelmed by Big Tex talking... but we listened to his whole speech anyway!

Lance's favorite part was sitting in all the new Chevy Camaros...

We got fabulous fried State Fair goodness - corny dogs for Lance and funnel cake for me!

There's no place I'd rather be than with my sweet hubs... even in the middle of the fair in the pouring down rain. We really had a great time. And then we got in the car and immediately shed our socks and shoes (they were nasty wet)....

Hopefully we'll get to go back again... in the sunshine this time!

just another reason i love jesus

Just yesterday, I was pondering what I should blog about since I have still been too lazy to upload state fair pictures onto my computer. After awhile, I decided I should write about how just desperate I have been for the Lord lately. I mean, everything goes through seasons, and I have just been in a season of constant longing for God to be present in my life. And it has been really cool. Truly – just yesterday, I was pondering how great it feels to be close to the Lord.

And then another storm hit. Somehow I managed to make one of my friends mad at me… just by being myself, really. I didn’t do anything – especially intentionally – to make this person get upset… but it happened. Again. Like it always seems to. I was really upset when I first found out. There were tears… and I only ate about 5 bites of supper before I just had to put it away because I wasn’t hungry anymore. I had my iPod playing my Christian music mix, and somehow it just played all my favorites – If You Want Me To (Ginny Owens), Shaking Like a Leaf (Rich Mullins), This World Has Nothing for Me (Caedmon’s), Let It Go (Superchick – random, I know), Underdog (Audio Adrenaline), Man of No Reputation… I mean, just great song after great song. It just encouraged me and reminded me that this life is so transient – and I have an infinitely wonderful Father who loves me like crazy… and a Savior who endured lots of pain and feels my hurt.

As I was getting ready for bed, I was thanking God for drawing me so near to Him right before this happened. I was still blue, though. I mean, it’s hard to realize (yet again) that your personality tends to tick people off or push people away. I’ve wrestled with that enough in my lifetime; I would prefer not to cry those same tears again. It didn’t rock me to my core this time like it has in the past… and I knew that was because of the closeness I have felt with the Lord lately.

Lance and I got in bed and were just kind of talking. We started talking about how the Lord answers me with very specific signs when I ask for them (I will definitely have to do a blog post on that in the future…) and what a blessing that is to hear a word from the Lord like that. Then we kind of got quiet… just lying there in the dark. I’ll be honest – my heart was aching. Not breaking, but definitely aching.

In the silence, I asked God for Lance to tell me just that he liked me… and I would take that as my word from Him that He created me and loves me. Then I kind of backpedaled out of that and said, “No, Lord, I know that you made me… I’m just struggling and need some encouragement. But I know you made me and love me.”

After several minutes of silence, Lance just goes, “I think you’re special.”

And I burst into tears. Of course, then I am trying desperately to explain through my sobs and sniffles that he just blessed me beyond what he knew. And I felt so comforted. I slept in great peace… because I am absolutely adored by my King… and He went out of His way to tell me that.

~~~~~~~~~

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! – 1 John 3:1

catching up... cowboys stadium

Our church group took a tour of the new Cowboys Stadium awhile back, and that stadium is absolutely incredible.

Lance and me...

Apparently it takes a lot of escalators to get all those fans around that place...

The TV screen was mind-boggling. Apparently the Jonas Brothers got to play xbox on it. Now Lance wishes he was famous enough to have Cowboys Stadium bow to his every whim. Maybe someday. :)

We went into the locker room... and it was super cool, but it already smelled like feet. Expensive, well-paid feet... but feet nonetheless.

Romo and Witten's lockers. They're besties - like Lance and me. :)

Acting out my favorite thing Marion Barber does. In front of his locker. I really love when he stiff-arms people in the face. Maybe I have some pent-up rage....

It really is a beautiful place!

Last but not least.... our tour guide was one of the architects of the place, and he gave every detail about every single thing. It turned a 1-hour tour into at least 2 hours. Like - the gift shop was closed by the time we got done. Anyway, he was wearing hysterical socks, so I took a picture of his feet. Everyone laughed at me. Really though - hysterical.

coming soon, i promise...

As is par for the course of my life, we have been going 90 to nothin’ lately. Grandpa’s funeral and such were on Friday; then Saturday was Giveaway Day; then Sunday we had a parents lunch and an area-wide youth thing (followed by dinner); then Tuesday I took the day off so we could to the fair (for Lance’s very first time in life!), and it rained, so we only spent a little time there and then went to see a movie and to Lance’s high school’s choir concert; then Wednesday was church; and now I am leaving for a junior high retreat right after work today. (I’m only staying until tomorrow morning though – my sister is also coming to visit me this weekend, so we will have a girls only day on Saturday!)

Anyway, I have Cowboys Stadium pictures, State Fair pictures, etc… I just need to find the time to make those magically appear on my blog! Maybe if Sister has homework this weekend, I will do it then. Or something.

the past week

I had written a very cheerful and incredibly optimistic update that I was about to post (well, just as soon as I added the pictures to it)... and then my grandfather passed away this last Wednesday. Things moved very quickly - the visitation was Thursday night, and the funeral was on Friday. My sweet husband led some songs and was a pallbearer. To be honest, my grandfather and I weren't very close, so his passing is hard mostly because I don't have any grandparents any more.

Anyway, I'm still sorting through some of the weird emotions from all of this... but I will post the more cheerful update at some point soon.

divot update

Last Wednesday, I went to see my ortho guy, and (first of all, I waited like 45 minutes to see him because the EMG doctor hadn’t sent over my test results yet…) he told me that my MRI is definitely clear and that my EMG was normal too. He said the divot was caused by a steroid shot I got when I was sick back in March.

Note to self: Self, never get a steroid shot again. The end.

He told me that the best thing he could recommend for me was to get a second opinion. I have to be honest – that is the first time a doctor has ever told me to just go somewhere else. I certainly appreciated his honesty, but I was a little frustrated by the fact that he didn’t know what was wrong.

Anyway, my college doctor (the one who diagnosed my lipoma and then took care of me when I was holey) just moved to Southlake and opened a practice up there, so I went to see him on Wednesday afternoon.

He agreed that the divot was caused by the steroid shot and said that he thinks all the pain I’ve had is because my shoulder didn’t heal correctly from that car accident in 2001. He said I should rest my shoulder and then try to strengthen the muscles around the joint in the hope that that will provide enough strength/stability. If that doesn’t work, then I will have something called prolotherapy in an attempt to tighten up the joint itself.

I’m having a hard time though… mostly because I’m still in pain. Some moments are worse than others… but last night/this morning, I’ve been in a lot of pain. It’s frustrating. I’m trying to do everything I’m supposed to… but it’s hard when it hurts. And right now, it hurts.

And I’m afraid that I’m losing momentum in my new-found running. I was up to 1.5 miles a day, but now I haven’t run in nearly two weeks. I’m not sure what to do about that.

I’m determined to talk about happier things, though. We toured the new Cowboys Stadium on Saturday, so I will have to post pictures of that and talk about how fun that was sometime soon.

Until then, I would appreciate your prayers, and I eagerly anticipate sharing something like “I ran two miles and was pain-free all day today!” I’m just praying for that…

~~~~~~~

“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” – Psalm 27:14

emg

Well… the EMG was pretty awful. I cannot lie. I got stuck with needles in my arm, shoulder, and back. I got shocked in the forearm, upper arm, and neck. It took 2 hours. There’s not really a good way to sound like it was fun (other than just out-and-out lying, which I try not to do).

Results? My nerves are totally fine. Every test was normal. Yes, I have a giant divot (and it is ever deepening), but every nerve is transmitting properly. My muscles respond. Even the muscles/nerves IN the divot (yes, I got poked there too) responded completely normally. This is simultaneously wonderful and awful. I don’t want nerve damage. Nerve damage is terrible. The downside is that I’m still not sure what’s going on.

Oh, and here’s the way the appointment started: The doctor had me push against him and pull and do all kinds of things to test my strength. Then he goes, “Well, you have visible atrophy, but you have excellent strength, so that’s good. At least that means you don’t have Lou Gehrig’s Disease.”

WHAT?!?!

I had NO idea that was even a possibility.

I had prepared myself to be strong and super tough during this test… and right there, before I’d even been stabbed or shocked, I was choking back tears. Wow. I am absolutely thankful that that’s not what it is… but… wow… how scary.

My precious husband drove me to my appointment, and he came back after an hour, and the receptionist escorted him into the room where I was… and I had a needle sticking out of my arm, and I MIGHT have been crying. (I will neither confirm nor deny that possibility…) He came over and kind of rubbed my hair and had this terrified look on his face, so I said, “Why don’t you wait in the lobby until this is over?” And he did. And then he took me to Kincaid’s and to get ice cream and skipped church to take care of me. I love him.

Oh, PS, I was feeling like a wimp for crying during the test until the doctor told me that he had a guy pass out on the table once. Then I felt less wimpy. Ha.

Say a prayer for Wednesday. I go to see my orthopedic surgeon again, and I am praying that he knows something that the radiologist and the EMG man didn't know and that he can tell me what's going on. I am in increasingly more pain, and I want relief. Say a prayer that we can figure out how to make that happen for me.