smiles in my heart

Well, the last few months have been a roller coaster, and I have very little doubt that the next few months will continue to be a roller coaster, but let me share some things in my life that cause me to praise the Lord:

• We paid my car off this week! I am thrilled about that because that means we are making progress toward getting out of debt… and it also means that we are inching ever closer to being able to start a family. (I’m assuming that the like 3 people that read this know me quite well… but I long to be a stay-at-home mommy when I have little ones, so we are working very hard to make that happen, and we have to get some of this stuff paid off to achieve that goal.)
• My shoulder is doing much better! I still have “on” days and “off” days, but overall, I am feeling MUCH better, and I have even been able to hold babies without pain. Thank you, Lord! (Just FYI – I still have the divot and probably always will… but I am fully content to be pain-free and divot-ful.)
• I ran two miles a couple of weeks ago! Granted, I’ve been a lazy bum for the last couple of weeks, so I have only run one or two days since then… but I had never ever run that far in my life. Also granted, I think it took me 30 minutes to run 2 miles… but let’s not talk about that. [Writer’s note: A few months ago, I said I was praying for the day that I could say, “I went all day today without pain AND I ran two miles.” Praise the Lord! That day is here!]
• I am officially started on my Christmas shopping! I’m done buying gifts for Sister’s fiancé, I’m almost done with Mom, and I’m making progress on Dad and Sister. Lance isn’t sure what he wants, and we have NO idea what his mom and brother want, so I’m nowhere near done… but progress is a good thing!
• I have two days off work next week! I’m very excited to have the Thanksgiving holidays coming up. I love spending time with my family and having some time off work… and it means I get to set up my house for Christmas! HOOOOOray!
• Our house is getting prettier! This past weekend, my friend Corie’s dad (who is a general contractor) came and began installing crown molding at our house. While he did that, I painted in our bathroom. The weekend before, we painted trim in our entry hall. Things look all construction zone-y at our house right now, but it is looking more like we want it to look… and closer to actually being DONE, which is pretty remarkable. I’m starting to believe that we’ll never actually be DONE, but I am excited about crossing a few things off the list.
• We are at peace. We have had a lot of things going on the past few weeks. We’ve had some big decisions to make (we finally made them – hooray!), and we have felt a constant sense of uneasiness as we tried to make the best decision possible. We finally have some peace back. I have to say, though, that I am incredibly, overwhelmingly blessed to be married to Lance. In the midst of constant strife, we did not fight with each other. We never went to bed angry. We were each other’s support and encouragement. It is a tremendous blessing to be married to someone who views marriage as a priority and a ministry.

Thanks for all the blessings, Lord. I appreciate them.

the countdown begins…

There are only 42 days until Christmas! Oh my word, I love Christmas. I am so excited to drag out all of my decorations and begin my Christmas shopping… well, continue my Christmas shopping, I guess. I already ordered my mom’s gift (super cute! I would post it on here, but I think she checks this thing sometimes…). Lance has a guys’ night at church tonight, so he will be gone until midnight, so I am taking tonight to do a little shopping on my own. I prefer to already have gifts purchased by Thanksgiving so that I can put up my tree the day after Thanksgiving and not have it be all nakey underneath. In order to achieve that, I try to do at least half my shopping in November and have the gifts already wrapped before Thanksgiving. I may be a little obsessed… I am much more interested in the interior of my house than the exterior. We usually wrap our tree trunk in lights, but that’s about all we do outside. Inside, though, we put up the tree (always with gifts!), decorate the mantle, hang stockings, burn Christmas candles, have a Christmas centerpiece on the dining room table, hang up all the Christmas cards we receive… Well, I say “we,” but I guess that’s really me. Lance just indulges my Christmas obsession and helps out where he can (or where he has to since I’m so short and he’s so tall). Anyway, I’m excited. I already numbered my calendar to count down to Christmas, so it gives me something to look forward to every day.

And I know Christmas is kind of consumery now (okay, really consumery), but I love the time with family, and I love seeing people’s faces light up when you get the perfect gift or completely surprise them. I love eating cinnamon rolls with Lance on Christmas morning. I love hearing Christmas songs on the radio and (sometimes) singing them in church. I love hearing “Happy Birthday, Jesus” from time to time (cheese, I know). I love wearing scarves and coats and going to the mall and seeing all the little guys waiting in line to see Santa. I love making lots of fudge and cookies (I bought cookie cutters for this year… something to look forward to!). I love wrapping gifts. I love opening gifts. I love buying Buddy Christmas gifts even though he has no idea what’s going on. I just love it. And I love that everyone knows the story of Jesus’ birth. Whether they heard it from Linus or a Sunday school teacher, they know the story. I love that.

Basically, I’m counting the days. Very literally. Merry Christmas Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve!

catching up still - state fair

Lance had never been to the State Fair ever in his life! Isn't that crazy?! I just HAD to take him, and I took a Tuesday off work so we could go on Dr. Pepper Tuesday ($3 instead of $15 to get in!). Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand it rained that Tuesday. A lot. Ha. We had fun anyway though. We stayed at the fair for a couple of hours and then decided to make the most of a free day and went and saw a movie and just had fun all day. Here are some State Fair pics...

Us in front of Big Tex. Lance was a bit underwhelmed by Big Tex talking... but we listened to his whole speech anyway!

Lance's favorite part was sitting in all the new Chevy Camaros...

We got fabulous fried State Fair goodness - corny dogs for Lance and funnel cake for me!

There's no place I'd rather be than with my sweet hubs... even in the middle of the fair in the pouring down rain. We really had a great time. And then we got in the car and immediately shed our socks and shoes (they were nasty wet)....

Hopefully we'll get to go back again... in the sunshine this time!

just another reason i love jesus

Just yesterday, I was pondering what I should blog about since I have still been too lazy to upload state fair pictures onto my computer. After awhile, I decided I should write about how just desperate I have been for the Lord lately. I mean, everything goes through seasons, and I have just been in a season of constant longing for God to be present in my life. And it has been really cool. Truly – just yesterday, I was pondering how great it feels to be close to the Lord.

And then another storm hit. Somehow I managed to make one of my friends mad at me… just by being myself, really. I didn’t do anything – especially intentionally – to make this person get upset… but it happened. Again. Like it always seems to. I was really upset when I first found out. There were tears… and I only ate about 5 bites of supper before I just had to put it away because I wasn’t hungry anymore. I had my iPod playing my Christian music mix, and somehow it just played all my favorites – If You Want Me To (Ginny Owens), Shaking Like a Leaf (Rich Mullins), This World Has Nothing for Me (Caedmon’s), Let It Go (Superchick – random, I know), Underdog (Audio Adrenaline), Man of No Reputation… I mean, just great song after great song. It just encouraged me and reminded me that this life is so transient – and I have an infinitely wonderful Father who loves me like crazy… and a Savior who endured lots of pain and feels my hurt.

As I was getting ready for bed, I was thanking God for drawing me so near to Him right before this happened. I was still blue, though. I mean, it’s hard to realize (yet again) that your personality tends to tick people off or push people away. I’ve wrestled with that enough in my lifetime; I would prefer not to cry those same tears again. It didn’t rock me to my core this time like it has in the past… and I knew that was because of the closeness I have felt with the Lord lately.

Lance and I got in bed and were just kind of talking. We started talking about how the Lord answers me with very specific signs when I ask for them (I will definitely have to do a blog post on that in the future…) and what a blessing that is to hear a word from the Lord like that. Then we kind of got quiet… just lying there in the dark. I’ll be honest – my heart was aching. Not breaking, but definitely aching.

In the silence, I asked God for Lance to tell me just that he liked me… and I would take that as my word from Him that He created me and loves me. Then I kind of backpedaled out of that and said, “No, Lord, I know that you made me… I’m just struggling and need some encouragement. But I know you made me and love me.”

After several minutes of silence, Lance just goes, “I think you’re special.”

And I burst into tears. Of course, then I am trying desperately to explain through my sobs and sniffles that he just blessed me beyond what he knew. And I felt so comforted. I slept in great peace… because I am absolutely adored by my King… and He went out of His way to tell me that.

~~~~~~~~~

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! – 1 John 3:1

catching up... cowboys stadium

Our church group took a tour of the new Cowboys Stadium awhile back, and that stadium is absolutely incredible.

Lance and me...

Apparently it takes a lot of escalators to get all those fans around that place...

The TV screen was mind-boggling. Apparently the Jonas Brothers got to play xbox on it. Now Lance wishes he was famous enough to have Cowboys Stadium bow to his every whim. Maybe someday. :)

We went into the locker room... and it was super cool, but it already smelled like feet. Expensive, well-paid feet... but feet nonetheless.

Romo and Witten's lockers. They're besties - like Lance and me. :)

Acting out my favorite thing Marion Barber does. In front of his locker. I really love when he stiff-arms people in the face. Maybe I have some pent-up rage....

It really is a beautiful place!

Last but not least.... our tour guide was one of the architects of the place, and he gave every detail about every single thing. It turned a 1-hour tour into at least 2 hours. Like - the gift shop was closed by the time we got done. Anyway, he was wearing hysterical socks, so I took a picture of his feet. Everyone laughed at me. Really though - hysterical.

coming soon, i promise...

As is par for the course of my life, we have been going 90 to nothin’ lately. Grandpa’s funeral and such were on Friday; then Saturday was Giveaway Day; then Sunday we had a parents lunch and an area-wide youth thing (followed by dinner); then Tuesday I took the day off so we could to the fair (for Lance’s very first time in life!), and it rained, so we only spent a little time there and then went to see a movie and to Lance’s high school’s choir concert; then Wednesday was church; and now I am leaving for a junior high retreat right after work today. (I’m only staying until tomorrow morning though – my sister is also coming to visit me this weekend, so we will have a girls only day on Saturday!)

Anyway, I have Cowboys Stadium pictures, State Fair pictures, etc… I just need to find the time to make those magically appear on my blog! Maybe if Sister has homework this weekend, I will do it then. Or something.

the past week

I had written a very cheerful and incredibly optimistic update that I was about to post (well, just as soon as I added the pictures to it)... and then my grandfather passed away this last Wednesday. Things moved very quickly - the visitation was Thursday night, and the funeral was on Friday. My sweet husband led some songs and was a pallbearer. To be honest, my grandfather and I weren't very close, so his passing is hard mostly because I don't have any grandparents any more.

Anyway, I'm still sorting through some of the weird emotions from all of this... but I will post the more cheerful update at some point soon.