just another reason i love jesus

Just yesterday, I was pondering what I should blog about since I have still been too lazy to upload state fair pictures onto my computer. After awhile, I decided I should write about how just desperate I have been for the Lord lately. I mean, everything goes through seasons, and I have just been in a season of constant longing for God to be present in my life. And it has been really cool. Truly – just yesterday, I was pondering how great it feels to be close to the Lord.

And then another storm hit. Somehow I managed to make one of my friends mad at me… just by being myself, really. I didn’t do anything – especially intentionally – to make this person get upset… but it happened. Again. Like it always seems to. I was really upset when I first found out. There were tears… and I only ate about 5 bites of supper before I just had to put it away because I wasn’t hungry anymore. I had my iPod playing my Christian music mix, and somehow it just played all my favorites – If You Want Me To (Ginny Owens), Shaking Like a Leaf (Rich Mullins), This World Has Nothing for Me (Caedmon’s), Let It Go (Superchick – random, I know), Underdog (Audio Adrenaline), Man of No Reputation… I mean, just great song after great song. It just encouraged me and reminded me that this life is so transient – and I have an infinitely wonderful Father who loves me like crazy… and a Savior who endured lots of pain and feels my hurt.

As I was getting ready for bed, I was thanking God for drawing me so near to Him right before this happened. I was still blue, though. I mean, it’s hard to realize (yet again) that your personality tends to tick people off or push people away. I’ve wrestled with that enough in my lifetime; I would prefer not to cry those same tears again. It didn’t rock me to my core this time like it has in the past… and I knew that was because of the closeness I have felt with the Lord lately.

Lance and I got in bed and were just kind of talking. We started talking about how the Lord answers me with very specific signs when I ask for them (I will definitely have to do a blog post on that in the future…) and what a blessing that is to hear a word from the Lord like that. Then we kind of got quiet… just lying there in the dark. I’ll be honest – my heart was aching. Not breaking, but definitely aching.

In the silence, I asked God for Lance to tell me just that he liked me… and I would take that as my word from Him that He created me and loves me. Then I kind of backpedaled out of that and said, “No, Lord, I know that you made me… I’m just struggling and need some encouragement. But I know you made me and love me.”

After several minutes of silence, Lance just goes, “I think you’re special.”

And I burst into tears. Of course, then I am trying desperately to explain through my sobs and sniffles that he just blessed me beyond what he knew. And I felt so comforted. I slept in great peace… because I am absolutely adored by my King… and He went out of His way to tell me that.

~~~~~~~~~

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! – 1 John 3:1

catching up... cowboys stadium

Our church group took a tour of the new Cowboys Stadium awhile back, and that stadium is absolutely incredible.

Lance and me...

Apparently it takes a lot of escalators to get all those fans around that place...

The TV screen was mind-boggling. Apparently the Jonas Brothers got to play xbox on it. Now Lance wishes he was famous enough to have Cowboys Stadium bow to his every whim. Maybe someday. :)

We went into the locker room... and it was super cool, but it already smelled like feet. Expensive, well-paid feet... but feet nonetheless.

Romo and Witten's lockers. They're besties - like Lance and me. :)

Acting out my favorite thing Marion Barber does. In front of his locker. I really love when he stiff-arms people in the face. Maybe I have some pent-up rage....

It really is a beautiful place!

Last but not least.... our tour guide was one of the architects of the place, and he gave every detail about every single thing. It turned a 1-hour tour into at least 2 hours. Like - the gift shop was closed by the time we got done. Anyway, he was wearing hysterical socks, so I took a picture of his feet. Everyone laughed at me. Really though - hysterical.

coming soon, i promise...

As is par for the course of my life, we have been going 90 to nothin’ lately. Grandpa’s funeral and such were on Friday; then Saturday was Giveaway Day; then Sunday we had a parents lunch and an area-wide youth thing (followed by dinner); then Tuesday I took the day off so we could to the fair (for Lance’s very first time in life!), and it rained, so we only spent a little time there and then went to see a movie and to Lance’s high school’s choir concert; then Wednesday was church; and now I am leaving for a junior high retreat right after work today. (I’m only staying until tomorrow morning though – my sister is also coming to visit me this weekend, so we will have a girls only day on Saturday!)

Anyway, I have Cowboys Stadium pictures, State Fair pictures, etc… I just need to find the time to make those magically appear on my blog! Maybe if Sister has homework this weekend, I will do it then. Or something.

the past week

I had written a very cheerful and incredibly optimistic update that I was about to post (well, just as soon as I added the pictures to it)... and then my grandfather passed away this last Wednesday. Things moved very quickly - the visitation was Thursday night, and the funeral was on Friday. My sweet husband led some songs and was a pallbearer. To be honest, my grandfather and I weren't very close, so his passing is hard mostly because I don't have any grandparents any more.

Anyway, I'm still sorting through some of the weird emotions from all of this... but I will post the more cheerful update at some point soon.