i'm in a glass case of emotion....

We officially had our first day at Pleasant Ridge on Sunday, and it seemed to be a great success. Lance got such wonderful feedback (as did I) about the entire day, and I am so thankful for that. It seems like we’ve been saying “goodbye” forever; it was prime time to get to the “hello” part.

It was a long day – we left our house at 7:10am and returned home at 9:30pm. We went to first service, Bible class, second service, lunch… then Lance played basketball with some kids from the church from 2 to 4, and then there we had a youth thing at 5:00, church at 6:00, and a reception for us at 7:00. The reception was wedding-style: Lance and I stood, and everyone lined up to shake our hands. I would venture to guess that we met probably 200+ people yesterday. I think I remember 3 names. That’s 1.5%. Oops. Anyway, it was just a very long day. I told Lance that by the end of the day, I wasn’t sure whether I was smiling or just baring my teeth at people.

It definitely made me want to move closer though. We packed multiple changes of clothes as appropriate for each of the day’s activities since we knew we couldn’t make it all the way back to NRH between things. Literally – it was like we packed for a weekend trip. We had changes of clothes and the dog and all of his stuff (he played at Patty’s house) and Lance had all of his toiletries so he could shower… it was a LOT of trouble. I mean, obviously, we will make it work until we can move down there, but it was a strong affirmation that, yes, we do need to move.

I just feel like I’ve got so many different emotions jumbling around inside of me. I’m so happy and thankful that Sunday went so well. (I think we would have been terrified and distraught if Sunday had gone poorly, wondering what on earth the Lord had called us to.) I’m still exhausted from spending a whole day on my feet, shaking hands, smiling, introducing myself, etc. I kind of felt like I was campaigning for something. I should have kissed some babies or something. Anyway, I’m still sad to be leaving some really precious friends (and not LEAVING leaving – I know we’ll still see each other… just not as often as I’d like). I got a phone call and a text from some of our Legacy friends on Sunday, and at the same that it was such a blessing, it got me all choked up. I’m scared that we won’t make new friends, and I’m nervous about having to fit into a new group. I’m confused about a lot of things because our churches operate very differently, so I can’t figure out some things. I’m incredibly excited that our vacation is getting close (although I am not saying how close because I don’t want to announce when we’ll be leaving an empty house behind…). Honestly, knowing that I’m going to have a break and be able to spend so much time with Lance without all the stress of packing, house-hunting, starting a new church, starting a new job, working in our house, etc. is what’s keeping me going at this point. I can’t wait. He’s my bestie.

I am incredibly blessed. Thank you, Lord!

catching up in pictures

I'm trying to learn how to use our new camera before our trip, so I thought I'd do sort of a picture update of some things that I've been up to lately while practicing my crazy mad photography skillz. (HA.) (Also - as I'm posting these pictures, I'm realizing that they are mostly of things I've been BUYING, not things I've been doing. Or maybe all I've been doing is buying....)

First of all, this past Friday, my friend Emily and I went down to the Main Street Arts Festival in downtown Fort Worth (and ate Reata tenderloin tamales for lunch! YUMMO!), and I bought these adorable earrings. The lady makes them out of antique tins, and she cuts them out by hand. I just love the bright colors and whimsical patterns. I almost bought a necklace of it, but the pendant on the necklace was about as big around as a coaster, so I thought that might be a bit OTT.

I think they are just presh. Can't wait to wear them.

I also bought these little black books. They are called City Notebooks, and they are made by the Moleskine Company. (There is one for Paris and one for Roma, in case you can't read the bindings.) They each have subway maps, city maps, places for information about the place you're going, a little pocket to hold ticket stubs, and more. They are really neat, and I thought it would look LESS touristy to have a little black book with a map than a giant fold-out one. Plus they give you places to journal, etc. so that we can keep notes on where we go and what we see.I also purchased our four-day museum passes for Paris. They are such cool little passes. Okay, so it's the size of a credit card but thicker like a tiny book...Then it magically unfolds...And there's a giant fold-out booklet inside the tickets that tells all the museums the pass works at and the dates and times each museum is open.
Please excuse my beginner photography skills. I just needed the practice. :)

spilling my guts

I haven’t kept up on here very well lately… mostly because I couldn’t write about the main thing I wanted to write about. Lance was offered (and he accepted) the position as the youth minister at Pleasant Ridge Church of Christ in Arlington (the church where Lance grew up). This job comes as a tremendous blessing from the Lord in that it is everything we’ve been praying for. Lance will get to be the youth minister for an entire program instead of just having kids for a couple of years, which is what he’s wanted and prayed for. Their offer was also a very generous one, and it will hopefully allow me to fulfill my dreams of being a stay-at-home mom when we have kids. There were lots of other benefits, such as retirement matching, that we don’t get currently but will have at PR, so we are incredibly thankful for the offer. (I feel the need to say, though, that we have no issues at all with Legacy and could/would very easily have stayed for a very long time. There is no bitterness or ickiness in this move… there’s nothing but rainbows and lollipops.) We are staying at Legacy through April 18th (so we will do LTC, Easter, Resurrection Renewal, youth retreat, Acapella concert, etc.). We’ll start at PR on April 25th. We are going to try to get our house on the market fairly quickly, and we want to move down to Arlington to be close to the church… but we really aren’t sure what our timetable on all of that will be.

I have to say, though, that this transition time has been really painful so far. All of our friends have been SO supportive, which has been such a blessing – and far beyond what we could have hoped for. But then we told the kids and the church Sunday morning, and that really broke my heart. I had one girl bawling her eyes out hugging me… saying, “I just feel like I’m losing everyone I love.” My, there were lots of tears. I mean, really… lots of tears. It hurt a lot.

So basically, here’s how I feel right now:

I am beyond thankful that the Lord has provided this opportunity. I am in disbelief that the offer was as generous as it was. I am nervous about Lance being even busier than he is already. I am terrified of trying to sell our house. I am dreading the thought of moving. I am (probably) way too optimistic in where I think we can live in Arlington . I am kind of a fan of looking at houses online. I am overwhelmed by the number of details there are to think of between now and then. I am exhausted from all the crying. I am saddened at the thought of leaving our first house and our church home and our young marrieds friends. I am trusting (or trying to trust) that if God has led us this far, he’s not going to back out now. I am grateful for family and friends that let me talk to them about all of this. I am anxious about starting a new church and having to make new friends there. I am stressed about the number of things that will happen between now and June 1st. I am distracted by all the many thoughts that I cannot seem to quiet in my head. I am wondering how many meals I can make out of the extra 2 pounds of taco meat I made for small group Sunday night (I am STILL a bad estimator). I am completely lacking in coping skills at the moment (one of the items for an outfit I wanted to wear today wasn’t clean, and I stood in my closet so long that Lance finally came in and said, “Honey, what are you doing?”). I am amazed by my husband, who somehow taught class, told the kids he was leaving, gave countless hugs, walked to big church, led singing, made the announcement there, and led a closing song and STILL held it together better than I did. I am thankful that he puts up with the crazy emotions I’m experiencing right now from all of this stress and exhaustion. I am overwhelmed by the number of things I need to remember but terrified to make a to-do list because I do NOT want to see it all in writing. I am fearful of change… and yet, I am at peace because I am fully confident that the Lord has guided (and is guiding) our steps.

And, if I’m really honest, that’s like the Cliff’s Notes version of how I am truly feeling… but I’d end up writing something roughly the length of Tolstoy’s War & Peace if I tried to delve into ALL of it.

I know this is already long, but one more thing.

I am crazy in love with Lance, and I feel SO honored to be his wife. He is incredible at his “job” (if indeed you can call it a job… it’s more of a calling, I think). So incredible that not only the teens will miss him – we had young families and middle marrieds and primetimers telling us what a blessing he has been to Legacy and how much they will miss him. So incredible that about 10 different kids had facebook statuses (statii??) about how wonderful he is and how much they will miss him when we finally checked facebook on Sunday night. So incredible that he’s gotten constant emails and texts and phone calls about how special he is and how much he will be missed and about specific things he’s meant to different people. So incredible, in fact, that apparently PR burst into applause during their second service when they announced they’d hired him. So incredible that he was scared to even make the announcement on Sunday because Sunday was the birthday of a boy in the Legacy youth group that he cares deeply about. So incredible that he checked on individual kids that he was afraid would take it especially hard. So incredible that HE checked on ME repeatedly on Sunday. He’s amazing. If you don’t know him, you’re missing out. I’m just sayin’.

And to close – the verse the Lord keeps bringing to me over and over again – “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” – Exodus 14:14

not my best day....

I don’t always have it all together, but most of the time, to the casual observer, I at least LOOK like I do.

Today?

I wore two different earrings to work.

And didn’t notice until 2:45.

Yikes.

Behind, as always.

I’ve been a terrible blogger lately. I mean, wow. Honestly, it’s because I have felt really overwhelmed by everything that’s been going on in our lives. I feel like I’m constantly going and doing and making lists… but that I’m never really done with much of anything. After awhile, that just starts to really overwhelm me and bog me down. Sometimes, it is a tremendous blessing to be so detail-oriented… and sometimes I feel like I’m missing the forest for the trees.

One of the things that had really been keeping me down was just feeling like I couldn’t ever get our house clean or keep up with the laundry. I’ve been trying really hard to cook dinner a lot (like usually about 4 nights a week), and sometimes that puts me in the kitchen from the minute I set foot in the door from work until we eat (which sometimes isn’t until 7:30 or so)… and then dishes… and then a little time to unwind/veg/watch TV/check the ol’ facebook… and viola – it’s time for bed. I collapse into bed pretty exhausted… and then get up and do it again the next day. Anyway, last week, my sweet husband just said, “I want you to know – I feel guilty that I don’t do more housework when I get home from work. I know I could help more, and sometimes I just don’t.” He proceeded to tell me that he doesn’t always know what needs to be done, so I’ve been sending him a list of things that need to be done each day, and he has them done before I get home from work. It’s just wonderful! It feels like magic (more to me than him, I’m sure)! I’m hoping that his contributions will help me feel like I can get a grip on what needs to be done and make some progress.

We actually got a LOT done this weekend. Our house is cleaner than it’s been in a good long while, and I’m hoping to get a bit more caught up and feel slightly less overwhelmed. I’m also hoping it warms up and gets sunny… I think it will help me to be able to exercise outside again. That releases a lot of stress for me.

I did make some super cute bulletin boards to go in our office. Maybe I will post pictures soon… I don’t think I’ve even posted any since we got our new camera. I’ll have to tackle that very soon. Maybe. We shall see.

hernia.paris/rome.taxes.details.

A week ago yesterday, Lance had surgery to repair a hernia in his tummy. It was an outpatient procedure, but it knocked him pretty flat for a bit there. This was my first experience with a surgery center (as opposed to a hospital), and they cranked him in and out of there pretty darn quick. We got there at 7:00, they took him back at 9:20, and we were home by 1:45. I have pictures from the surgery… but I’m figuring those wouldn’t be super popular if I posted them on here. He apparently tried to get up out of bed as he was coming out from under anesthesia, so several nurses had to hold him down… and the process of him trying to get up caused his stomach to hurt, so they gave him Demerol (or however you spell that), which then made him nauseated, so they gave him Phenegren (or however you spell THAT). Anyway, he was SUPER sleepy for the rest of the day. He fell asleep WHILE I was talking on 5 separate occasions… but he also fell asleep while HE was talking a couple of times, so I guess I can’t be too upset.

He slept a lot Friday (read: ALL DAY) and then rested Saturday and Sunday. I went back to work Monday, but he stayed home and rested some more. By Tuesday, he’d return to work and stopped taking the Hydrocodone, and he’s been doing really well the rest of the week. He’s a bit more easily tired, but even that is getting better.

I have basically spent every waking moment away from work taking care of him, doing housework, or organizing our taxes. I've been feeling a bit stressed/frazzled/overwhelmed by all that I need to do, so I am ready to actually accomplish some of those things and stop worrying about them. I did actually make it to my parents' house and do our taxes today... so I guess I should heave a big sigh of relief. (We're getting money back! HOORAY!)

Some good things: We found a really good sale on the Flip HD camera we’ve been eyeing, so Lance purchased that little beauty yesterday. We booked our flight from Paris to Rome a couple nights ago, so all the big things are done – transatlantic flights purchased, hotel booked and paid for, and intracontinental flight purchased. I have lots of tours and passes to book and buy… but those are much smaller in the grand scheme of planning the trip. Oh, also, my Chi went out (tragedy!), so I ordered a new one less than a week ago, and it arrived a couple of nights ago! (I would love to tell you that my hair looks fabulous and straight the next day… but I was lazy and haven’t even opened the box. Instead, my hair ended up in some weird messy-bun thing that I hoped was cute enough that people wouldn't notice that I didn’t fix my hair.)

Oh, also, I’ve lost about 5 pounds… but I seem to have stalled here. Maybe I will just learn to be friends with those last 2 pounds. They seem to like me a lot…

One final story. I’ve talked quite a bit about how much I love kids and how kids love me and how excited I am to be a mommy someday (still not pregnant. Don’t get ahead of me.). Well, Monday night at Bunko, my friend Brittany was there with her 3-month-old, and her baby was crying to be held while Brittany tried to eat. I offered to hold her while Brittany ate, and she not only stopped crying… she stayed calm and content in my arms for an hour and a half – all the way through Bunko. My Bunko-mates called me the baby whisperer. I love it. Baby love warms my heart.

The title is the hardest part...

Wow… I’m sorry that I’m failing at blogging. I keep telling myself to do better… but that positive self-talk seldom results in any kind of action. Oops.

Well, good news since the “hungry” blog – I have lost almost 4 pounds (so far – I weigh myself again tomorrow!), which means that I am halfway to my weight loss goal. I’m adjusting to my new level of calorie consumption, so although I definitely GET hungry, I am not CONSTANTLY hungry any more. And THAT, my friends, is a vast improvement! I also went and bought some good running shoes on Saturday, which was an interesting experience. I went to FW Running Co., and they had me run on a treadmill like 8 different times to try different kinds of shoes. It turns out that I pronate really badly when I run, so they found me some shoes that correct that. They were a bit expensive (which is why I have talked about but put off buying them for like a year now…), but they definitely help my ankles and knees a lot. They are substantially heavier than my old shoes (largely because my old shoes had no support in them whatsoever), so it is kind of an adjustment. (And just to be clear – they’re still normal shoes. They’re Saucony running shoes, not like Dr. Scholl’s orthopedic ankle support shoes or anything. I just wanted to clarify in case someone got a really skewed mental picture based on my description.) I got up and ran Monday and Wednesday, but I needed Tuesday and today to recover from actually exercising. I am excited because it’s starting to feel good to eat better and exercise. My pants already fit differently in the waist, which is fabulous. (I mean, granted, they just fit like they’re supposed to instead of being really tight and uncomfortable… but still!)

We’ve also done really well about eating at home instead of going out to eat all the time so far this year. I’ve been trying new recipes a lot, and Lance has even been eating leftovers! (Hallelujah!) I know it’s definitely easier for us to eat healthily at home, plus it saves a LOT of money, so I am pretty excited about it all the way around. I shared my enthusiasm with Lance over how much better we’re doing, and he responded, “Well, but it’s only January. It’s probably going to go downhill from here.” That little boogerface. I really want to do better all year – not just January. Anyway, we have a budget that we try really hard to stick to, but last year, we went over our out-to-eat budget by at least a little bit pretty much every month. I really want us to do better about that, so I’m excited to see some improvement in that area as well.

We’re also making progress on our trip (HOORAY!). Our plane tickets are “on hold” from the American site right now, and we are planning to book them tonight. We’re staying with our friend’s parents in Paris, so that’s taken care of, and we have already booked our hotel in Rome. It’s exciting to have the really BIG things taken care of. If you know me and my OCD tendencies, you won’t be surprised to know that I already have a journal wherein I’ve been taking notes for almost a month. I have a list of tours I want to take, monuments/museums I want to visit, restaurants I want to eat at, flights that might work for us, things to do before we leave for the trip, etc. I’ve also learned to say, “Do you speak English? Sorry, I don’t speak French.”, “Where are the toilets?”, “Will you take our picture?”, and “Check, please!” I learned some other REALLY basic phrases too, but I think those are the ones I’m most proud of.

For those of you who have been to Paris and/or Rome, what was your favorite/least favorite thing that you saw/did/visited/ate/took a picture of/thought about later/would do again/would never do again/etc.? Also, what did/would you wear/not wear again, and how much do you recommend packing? (Those are some of the most open-ended questions ever asked, but I would love to get some more direction! Then I can write it down in my journal!!)

~~~~~~~~~~

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
Exodus 14:14